About what time on average do you eat dinner and then also what time on average do you fall asleep?
We’ll all be young and clueless, in minimum wage jobs and loving every minute of it. We’ll take turns cooking every night, and there will always be music playing. There will be a jar in the entryway, for us to put change in, saving up for ‘someday’. There will be a front porch swing where we’ll sit and watch sunsets, staying out far too long, and pretending not to notice the bugs crawling out as night falls. We’ll watch movies and play board games, and have an unofficial pet in the stray dog that we feed scraps to. We’ll fight over who does the dishes, and come downstairs every morning shaking our heads at the mess we made the night before. We’ll barely scrape together rent every month, burn in the summer and freeze in the winter. We’ll go grocery shopping together and become resigned, but accustomed to the single-ply toilet paper-its all we’ll be willing to afford. The house will always be full of sound: laughter and yelling and footsteps running up and down the stairs…until we lapse into a comfortable, sleepy silence, drinking wine in a pile of people in the living room. A big tangle of legs and arms and sweaters and hair and hopes.
I know that not everyone can be special, not everyone can live a life that is magical and adventurous and mysterious. I hate the idea of waking up one day, in a boring house in a boring place, and feeling like I’m stuck or tied down. It’s not entirely my wanderlust or youth speaking either…I’m not completely impractical. I know I probably won’t be famous, I probably won’t end up in history books, my life may not be extraordinary in any way. And I don’t want to discount the idea of settling down either, of getting married and having a family and living a very ordinary life (although that’s very hard to picture for myself right now) but I want to wake up, even in a life that seems “normal” or predictable…and look at it in an extraordinary light. I don’t want to be bored. I don’t want to be ordinary. I’m scared that I won’t live the life I want to. I’m scared I won’t make it happen.